Smigus Dingus

The sun may well shine on Easter Monday, but even if this is so, we warmly recommend that ladies of a faint-hearted disposition carry an umbrella about their person, for Smigus Dingus is coming to town.

But who or what is the infamous Smigus? It sounds not unlike a goblin from Lord of the Rings, or some other slippery creature.

Smigus has indeed been around since time immemorial. It is in fact a custom, and it was recorded by one of Poland's most venerable medieval chroniclers:

"It is the universal custom, among the common masses as well as among the distinguished, for men to soak the women on Easter Monday. On Tuesday, and every day thereafter until the time of the Green Holidays, the women doused the men."

According to an ancient pagan rite, it is believed that women who come in for a soaking at this portentous time of year will prove to be the most fertile.

It may sound like a pretty infuriating thing to be soaked to the bone whilst you're popping out to buy a newspaper, but in ye olden days, the ladyfolk were quite happy to get a splashing, as it was considered a good omen in finding a husband, as this nineteenth century account recalls:

"Barely had the day dawned on Easter Monday when I woke the boys and gathered some water to start throwing it on the girls. Up with the eiderdown! There was screaming, shouting, and confusion. The girls are shrieking and hollering, but in their hearts they are glad because they know that she who isn't gotten wet will not be married that year. And the more they are annoyed, the more we dump water on them calling, Dyngus ? Smigus! Then we had to change our clothes because there wasn't a dry thread on the girls and we boys were no better off."

In some villages, the girls were lucky if they got away with a mere soaking, for it was customary for the lads to chase the maidens with willow branches, whipping them as they ran. Ah, the good old days...!

At this stage, it is only fair to point out that ladies needn't hide in their bedrooms throughout Easter Monday. It is safe to venture out onto the street. Certainly, there will be plenty of dousing, but most of it goes on between schoolchildren and teenagers. Chivalrous gentleman might sprinkle their lady companions with a few drops of fancy perfume, but they won't be lining up with buckets to drench every woman in sight.

However, we thought it only fair to tip you off, just in case you do get a dousing. And if you want to play safe, why not carry a water pistol? If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.