Blonde Jokes

0 min read    203 comments

R.I.P

Here lies an outdated, sexist and frankly just lame set of deeply unfunny jokes. We love dad jokes, we love puns, we love abstract and dark humour... but this page and the jokes on it sucked really, really hard and we could not in all good conscience leave them up. 

If you came here looking for Blonde Jokes (that's pretty embarrassing, man), here a special joke instead, just for you:

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Comments

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blonde hater
United States

made by a blonde

Reply Feb 23rd, 2023
Quinn

BLONDIE

Reply Jul 26th, 2022
Gold

Whether you've got natural platinum locks or have a standing appointment with your stylist every six to eight weeks, these blonde jokes are guaranteed to make you chuckle. Because you know what? Blondes

Reply Oct 11th, 2021
Ava

I have a bully and your jokes really helped me to get them to stop calling me nerdy glasses girl just because I have glasses

Reply Aug 1st, 2021
Kayden Stith
American Samoa

most the time if someone bullies you they probbably like you.

Reply Feb 14th, 2022
ash
United States

i wish that was true

Reply Feb 24th, 2022
french toast/audrey

ummmmmmm true tho

Reply Mar 4th, 2022
Guest

Hahhahahhahah

Reply Jul 11th, 2021
Lola Bleeker
Australia

This is the best site ever!!!!

Reply Mar 19th, 2020
Lilith
Australia

CAUSE I MEANNN I'm not a blonde but MOST PPL DON'T HAVE A CHOICE WEATHER THEY ARE OR ARE NOT BLONDESS

Reply Jan 21st, 2020
Lilith
Australia

Yall people need to stop making fun of Blondes!

Reply Jan 21st, 2020
Guest

Try being a red head then you will feel my pain

Reply May 13th, 2023
pierre bellis

shit joke

Reply Sep 19th, 2019
me

How did the blond explain how his helicopter crashed? He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan. Why did the blond quit his job as a restroom attendant? He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer. What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials? Double-dumb. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower? The green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds. Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is sucking hers, one is biting hers, one is licking hers. Which one is married? The one with the wedding ring, YOU SICK-O!

Reply Jan 14th, 2019
bored

How can you tell who is the dumbest person in the room? It's the guy who's telling blonde jokes. Mate, get a life. It's not 2000, Nsync aren't cool anymore and Ben Affleck is an alcoholic, washed up loser, not a role model.

Reply Oct 18th, 2019
jaygo

f@ck it

Reply Jan 14th, 2019
me

that is shitty

Reply Jan 14th, 2019
Jamie Burnham

Why don’t blonde women ever make ice cubes? They forget the recipe.

Reply Dec 6th, 2018
Guest

Why didn't Jamie Burnham have a nourishing and happy life? Because he was a misogynist .

Reply Dec 7th, 2018
Jamie Burnham

How did the blonde die while raking the leaves? She only fell out of the tree.

Reply Dec 6th, 2018
Yourmom
United States

I love how everyone’s gettin salty & personally attacking you whilst simultaneously gettin mad at you for( ITO) doin the same thing. Hypocrisy runs deep in shallow waters-think their all blondes?!

Reply Nov 6th, 2022
Riaan
South Africa

Do more blondes

Reply Oct 5th, 2018
Dont Mess With Me Mosse Dude Guy
United States

Bro you do more blondes then you see how sore you are afterwards.....,.,!

Reply Nov 7th, 2018
Guest

you are both so creepy

Reply Nov 8th, 2018
Lcj
United States

I'm a blonde and these have got old you need to find new ones not impressed

Reply Oct 2nd, 2018
Dalton
United States

I agree with u on that one.

Reply Nov 8th, 2019
kat humphries

Im sooooo ofended!!!! but some of them were funny

Reply Aug 18th, 2018
kat humphries

Im sooooo ofended!!!! but some of them were funny

Reply Aug 18th, 2018
Guest
Germany

funny

Reply Jul 5th, 2018
Guest
Italy

Why did the blonde dyed his hair to black?

Reply Jun 24th, 2018
kat humphries

why?

Reply Aug 18th, 2018
Guest

bro why?

Reply Oct 18th, 2019
Em

To avoid these fucking shit jokes?

Reply Oct 18th, 2019
Guest
New Zealand

i just love how none of these jokes are funny

Reply Jun 24th, 2018
Guest

nope. not a one. not even offensive because they are just so bad. not even funny in a 'funny because they are bad' kind of way. just leaves you feeling empty inside and worried about the world that someone ever thought it was funny.

Reply Sep 4th, 2018
Conley
United States

Chloe I hope you are token seriously

Reply Nov 11th, 2017
Guest

Chloe from dance moms?

Reply Jun 12th, 2019
Guest

token from south park?

Reply Oct 18th, 2019
Rick
United States

LMFAO... I think it's hilarious reading comments the ones made by people with no sense of humor makes me laugh but then again it's because of your ignorance that causes arguments it's understandable every one has there own opinions but damn put a pad on have a laugh move on stop your crying and move on with your life boo hoo to you

Reply Oct 8th, 2017
Guest

these would have to be funny for someone with a sense of humor to get them... but if youre getting offended by something written by someone without two brain cells to knock together then you seriously need to love yourself more because you are being hurt by a primordial ooze. as for you rick. we both know that you're so stupid you're actually an active part of the devolution of civillization. so just shut up.

Reply Sep 4th, 2018
Chloe
Canada

I am a blonde and I have to say these were offensive to me.. the last two especially.. just because we are blonde does not mean we are " stupid" and " easily convinced" . I get that they're jokes and that some people find them funny but really these are stereotypes, and they're aggravating. I am a A student, and I would liked to be token seriously not as if I'm a stupid and ditzy blonde.

Reply Aug 2nd, 2017
Marina Morgan
United Kingdom

Change token to taken

Reply Nov 15th, 2017
aaron
United States

it ''taken'' not token proves ur just a blond

Reply Dec 17th, 2017
Jordan
United States

Dude. I'm a blonde. It doesn't matter. If you hated them why did you look up blonde jokes

Reply Aug 16th, 2018
Oscar

S/b "I am an A student." Apparently you flunked grammar.

Reply Aug 29th, 2018
Guest

Apparently, you flunked basic human compassion. But well done, you can point out the grammar mistakes of random people on the internet. How original. Who the hell cares, Oscar. For all you know English is her 5th language but she has serious self esteem issues because of years of bullying by idiots like you. I would pick a dumb blonde as president over you any day.

Reply Sep 4th, 2018
Jada
Colombia

I'm a natural blonde and these are funny, you need to clam down and take a joke. its people like you that need to get deported by that umpa lumpa yall call your president

Reply Jan 26th, 2017
Babs
Sweden

I'm a natural swedish blonde woman I found these jokes insulting degrading & slandering ! To the natural blondes who said the jokes are insulting you also find the jokes funny you are being double standard hypocrite ! To the people who say lighten up well you never been the one to suffer from the outcome because these jokes are taken literally & people mistreat abuse & even so much rape a beautiful blonde woman because the true idiot is the people who think these jokes are true about blonde women & these jokes make our lives miserable so stop ! I'm repulsed by this tired stereotype because I have paid many prices for being a Swedish Blonde Woman including RAPE ! STOP !

Reply Dec 27th, 2016
Marina Morgan
United Kingdom

My heart goes out to you I have suffered as a child and as an adult all because of men and their sick fantasies. I to landed up raped by a person I loved. I dyed my hair brunette just so I could feel safe, it has been brunette ever since my late 20's. I lost confidance within myself and feel I have lost my identity , all because of predujice jokes and bad attitudes. Now as a brunette I dont get unwanted attention life is calm and contented for me. Everyone is different and copes in different ways, I walk away from idiots that do harm and that is the best way to deal with them they will never change.

Reply Nov 15th, 2017
Lindsay
Estonia

I'm a blonde and I still find these jokes funny. I was in AC and all honors since middle school. I graduated college with a 4.0 Just because we are blonde does not mean we are stupid. don't listen to society. When you hear blonde jokes think of other blondes and it won't affect you. Keep your head up ladies, don't let them get the best of us. ♡

Reply Jun 25th, 2016
alyssa
United States

It has been scientifically shown that hair color does not effect how smart you are. I am blonde and I find blonde bones offensive when they are directed at me and understand why others think they are offensive.I get A's and B's.

Reply Apr 30th, 2016
India
Australia

I'm not a blonde so these aren't insulting to me, but I find them funny. The only one I found insulting was the 'legs not touching' one, and I actually found that really insulting. But these are jokes, and its society's fault for making blondes look dumb. Not just one particular person. Just because people find these jokes funny, it doesn't mean that we are mean.

Reply Jan 25th, 2016
Guest
Estonia

I'm blonde and I thought those were pretty funny

Reply Jan 6th, 2016
Alison
United States

Why do people find this funny? I am blond, I can't spell, I nearly failed math. But these are just insulting. My friends are blond, and you know what they never have to deal with this. It's called they are white blond, dirty blond and in advanced classes. But two of us aren't. And you know what, we are supposedly "dumb blonds". And whenever I tell someone to stop insulting us, it turns in to my fault! I'm too sensitive, take things to seriously. But I don't. Anyone who reads this type of site and finds them funny, I hope I NEVER meet you. Just know you have hurt a lot of people, and if you continue to do so because it's fun, then know I hate you. Because you are no better than a bully.

Reply Oct 2nd, 2015
Hanna
United States

According to me and my neighborhood the blond jokes are racist

Reply Jul 7th, 2015
layla
Australia

I love blond jokes mate even though im a blond

Reply Apr 23rd, 2015
Guest
Estonia

Stephie, there is no need to be offended. It doesn't mean that blondes aren't smart, I'm a blonde and I am smarter then a burnette

Reply Apr 15th, 2015
LW
United States

I'm a brunette, and you can't even spell that correct. So now who's smarter? LOL

Reply May 3rd, 2015
stephie
New Zealand

These jokes are not for me because usually i do not laugh at jokes.Also I am a natural blonde and these are really offensive to me.just because we are blondes does not mean we are stupid.

Reply Apr 12th, 2015
Monica
United States

I love reading these jokes because I'm a natural blonde and there times when I can see myself doing stuff like this.

Reply Apr 1st, 2015
United States

a merry heart (laughter) is medicine to the soul! Don't take the hair color so personal ,its a joke ,sub whatever works for you!

Reply Aug 31st, 2014

wonderfully delightful

Reply Aug 31st, 2014
Hayley
New Zealand

I am a natural blonde. These jokes are offensive to me but still very very very funny

Reply Jan 17th, 2014
kat humphries

Thats what i think two offensive but funny (im a natural too)

Reply Aug 18th, 2018
kat humphries

Thats what i think two offensive but funny (im a natural too)

Reply Aug 18th, 2018
Koffler12:
United States

I'm a guy and i thought most of these jokes were funny

Reply Nov 20th, 2013
Matthew
Australia

HA HA HA ...not only 3 of them were funny

Reply Apr 26th, 2013
heaven
United States

Those r really funny!

Reply Oct 3rd, 2012
heaven
United States

Those r really funny!

Reply Oct 2nd, 2012
ginger
United Kingdom

hey i thought these jokes were lol and hey im a red head so yaeh but dont be offended blonde are cute :)

Reply Oct 2nd, 2012
kat humphries

Thx IK I`m cute

Reply Aug 18th, 2018
United States

I hate you. I'm a natural blonde, and I bet I'm smarter than you.

Reply Sep 21st, 2012
Monica
United States

That's a suprise since it comes from a blonde

Reply Apr 1st, 2015
kat humphries

o_o owch

Reply Aug 18th, 2018
xxhahaxx
New Zealand

Haha funny :) I have absoulutley nothing against blonde people all my friends are blonde and are really smart! But I still think even though people being judged by their hair colour is ridiculous we can still sometimes laugh about it :)

Reply Aug 17th, 2012
Anna
United States

Hysterical!

Reply Jun 14th, 2012
None Ya Business
United States

I LOVE blonde jokes, even though I am a blonde. Because I don't get offended unless they are used to get back at me! But besides that, I ABSOLUELY LOVEE BLONDE JOKES!!!!!

Reply May 17th, 2012
anonomous
United States

I dont talk to people anymore because of these kind of jokes. Thanks world!

Reply Dec 23rd, 2011
bigbob
United Kingdom

the jokes are wicked and any blonde that says they ar'nt stupid they're right they ar'nt stupid......they just have to common sense lool

Reply Apr 4th, 2011
Jc from Philly
United States

What do you call a brunette in between two blondes..... Translator. =)

Reply Nov 20th, 2010
Monica
United States

LOL

Reply Apr 1st, 2015
kj eroupe
Australia

im dum and im blnde hiw du u spell blnde? i forgot bekus im blonde

Reply Oct 11th, 2010
Austen
United Kingdom

Why are you all arguing ladies? You are all beautiful im sure:-) make love not war!

Reply Mar 10th, 2010
kyla
United Kingdom

i have blonde hair and blondes being dumb is not true most of the girls in the top sets have blonde hair at are school i mean you wouldn't put jokes about black people on the interent unless you were racist so why blonde jokes don't you think its a little offensive! Any blonde people who are like that are just faking to get attention! brunette are no smarter infact i friend was telling me a blonde joke which she didn't even get yet i did and i have blonde hair!

Reply Feb 25th, 2010
guest
United States

So its true about blondes PMS ing too...

Reply May 24th, 2016
Danish Blonde
Australia

Well, I'm a natural platinum blonde because I come from a Scandinavian background. I don't really care how blondes are stereotyped, because in the end, everyone knows that intellect isn't dependant on hair colour. There are just girls who think it's cool to 'dumb themselves down' because they think guys will like them better, it's sad and it happens amongst brunettes too.

Reply Jan 11th, 2010
Blondie
United Kingdom

I am blond (natural, not bleached) and and we are SO not dumb..most blonds fake being dumb to "Look cute". And blonds are hotter than other colors because we have fair skin and beautiful features! TEEHEE!! Haven't y'all heard Brunettes are boring and Blonds have more fun! :D

Reply Dec 19th, 2009
LMFAO
United Kingdom

Blondes are not necessarily hotter; it is a matter of opinion.

Reply May 24th, 2016
Grammar check
United States

These jokes are mildly funny. I am a natural brunette whose been dying her hair blonde for a few years. It 'suits me'. Anyway, for all you claiming to be smart, maybe you should have paid more attention in ENGLISH CLASS. This is NOT a topic to use chatspeak. I mean, it is kind of difficult for people to believe that you are smart 'wen u talk lik dis' you just seem ignorant. Thank you.

Reply Sep 14th, 2009
Bunny Boo x
United States

I'm a true blonde! :D I loved the jokes teehee x i have to admit i didn't get some of them lol :S :D But wen i eventually did, i laughed lds :D Yep, we can be smart when we wana be, bt to tell you the truth; it's just too much effort. So we stick 2 being dumb :P :D Love the Jokes Bunny Boo x x

Reply May 13th, 2009
University Blonde
Canada

Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can understand them. I find it kind of funny that the vast majority of the self-proclaimed 'smart' brunette commenters have such terrible spelling. Oh, the irony! Cute jokes, though!

Reply Apr 21st, 2009
Tommy
Estonia

Do not fight hair color racism with more prejudice. Thats like insulting Hitler by saying things like you are dumber than a Jew. I dont appreciate you insulting males. I am a blonde dude, and these are bullshit jokes, but you are starting something else entirely.

Reply Oct 7th, 2014
person
United States

HAHA the first long one is hilarious!!

Reply Apr 17th, 2009
xerex
United States

was the boss a guy or girl?

Reply Apr 16th, 2009
Antonia (Blonde!!)
United Kingdom

People need to chill out abit. A joke is a joke, people need to learn to laugh at themselves sometimes. Its a silly stereotype that blondes are dumb, but these jokes arn't specifically aiming to offend. I'm blonde, I have three A levels in Maths, Chemistry and Biology. That throughs the stereotype but I can still laugh at blonde jokes as I know they ae not specifically aimed at me or any indevidual for that fact!

Reply Apr 7th, 2009
Blonde and proud of it
United States

im blonde and....well some of these i didnt get,im sorry im just not as smart as some people...but the ones that i did get are funny!

Reply Apr 6th, 2009
Hannah
Algeria

Blondes and ESPECIALLY reds are HOT. The meanies who joke are NOT.

Reply Mar 30th, 2009
SarahMoorex3
United Kingdom

Tbh, people need to relax about these jokes, im naturally platinum blonde and i know its not true that blondes are stupid, just learn to laugh (:

Reply Mar 25th, 2009
kanbby
United States

ok look i have probably had the hardest time with blonde jokes and these are FUNNY!!!!!!!

Reply Mar 24th, 2009
United States

First of all these blonde jokes aren't funny but they are discriminating. Not all blondes are retarded. I'm a blonde and most of my family and friends think i'm smart due to staight A's all in school.

Reply Mar 17th, 2009

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